Normally I don’t care much about packaging, but I wish some genius would invent a dog treat package that didn’t make a noise to alert my dog, from anywhere in the house, that she is getting a treat !!!!

Furthermore, every plastic bag sounds to her like she’s getting a treat !
# Noteveryfuckingcrinklenoiseisforyou

Who masturbates for AN HOUR ?

Thinking about it - better question;
Who sits around for an hour watching a dude masturbate ?

Just Now ( actually late last night ) :
I’m still not willing to fly, unless I absolutely have to. So, I’m heading to MD & VA by car.
Yesterday I drove around 1050 miles and was only 200 miles from my final destination. At aprox midnight, I stopped at a rest stop, used my phone to ...find a hotel that was close by, and called to see if they had a room. They did!

I told the hotel rep I was in my car, aprox 5 - 8 minutes drive from the hotel, and wanted to make a reservation. We completed the reservation and then finished up our conversation………

Hotel: We have a wonderful program where you can purchase travel insurance for this reservation, in case anything happens and you’re not able to make it. Would you like to hear the details ?

Me: Well, I don’t think I’ll need to insure this reservation, as I mentioned I’m 5 minutes from the hotel.

Hotel: Well sir, sometimes things do come up and this insurance can cover any unforeseen issues.

Me: Well, the only issues that may come up in the next 5 minutes is a sudden heart attack or a an automobile accident. Since I’m willing to bet, at least I hope neither event is likely, I’m going to roll the dice and not buy the insurance.

Hotel: Oh ok, yeah, um, that makes sense. I hope you have a nice stay. Thank you. Have a nice evening

I didn’t buy the insurance, but I’m wondering if that was a bad decision
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

THIS WEEK - I’m heading east !!
Aug 31 - Thursday; show in Crofton, MD
at Ashling Kitchen & Bar
( I’m told we are sold out )

Sept 3 - Sunday; show in Leesburg, VA
at the Tally Ho Theater
( Last thing I heard, we are either close to sold out or are sold out )

Just Now : I call a Louisiana government office to ask a specific question about a specific subject. The person I speak with is polite and tells me she does not know the answer and it is not her department. She offers to have someone call me back. I thank her, ask her to take a few notes so she ...understands my question and can route the request to the correct person in the rigjt department.

20 minutes (or so) later my phone rings. I ask the caller if she was given the notes and understood the reason for my call. She tells me no, she didn’t know and then proceeds to read a lengthy prepared CYA statement explaining all the ways she can’t help me, and then asks if I understand. I acknowledge I understand and ask if I can proceed. From there I explain my concern and ask my question…………

caller : Sir, I understand your question and suggest you look it up on our government website.

Me: I’m asking you

caller : Sir, you might want to consider driving to Baton Rouge so you can do research in the clerk if court’s office.

( this went on for a while ) …………

Me : I want to be polite, but also very clear; people who work for the government are not our leaders. They are elected, appointed, or hired public servants. They represent the interests of the citizens of their community. I’m asking a reasonable question and although you’re being nice, you’re not being at all helpful.

Caller : Sir I don’t know the answer to your question because I work in a different department.

Me : Fine, I understand this is not your department. Next question, why are you returning my call, if I explained in detail to the last representative why I was calling, and you’re telling me that’s not your department?
That’s like me calling a hospital and asking to speak to a cardiologist about a heart problem, and having an orthopedic surgeon returning my call. The orthopedic doctor may be a skilled surgeon, but that has nothing to do with my question about the heart. So, once again why are YOU calling me back?

Caller : We take turns returning calls, and today is my day.

Me : How on earth does that serve the public ?

Caller : Today is my day to return calls, that’s al I can tell you !

Me : Is there a department and / or person who handles matters that pertain to my question?

Caller: Yes

Me : Can you give me that information, and I will contact that department ?

Caller ; I won’t be able to give you that information

Me; Can you contact that department and ask them to call me ?

Caller : Yes, I can do that

Me: Thank you

Caller : But I want to be clear that I can’t guarantee they will call you back.
I hope I’ve been helpful addressing your concerns.

Me: Truthfully, you haven’t been helpful at all.

With that, we hung up