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Just Now (kind of a long story, I will try to shorten):

I have a small open bed trailer. I haven’t used in a long time, so I’ve decided to sell it.
I don’t have paperwork ( title or registration - longer story ), so they need to he replaced. To avoid going to a government ...building, I go to a private business that does title and registration for vehicles.
It’s finally my turn.

Once I give the clerk my drivers license and explain my situation………

Clerk: I’ll need title and registration

Me: As I just told you, I’m here for a duplicate title and registration because I don’t have the originals.

Clerk: Fine, please give me your registration and I can look up your information.

Me: I don’t have a copy of my registration. As I’ve said, I’m here for a duplicate.

Clerk: That’s fine, let me see the title and I can use that.

Me: Ma’am, once again, I don’t have either.

Clerk: Fine. When did you buy the trailer?

Me: Wow, I don’t know. It was a long time ago.

Clerk: Guess.

Me: Um, I really don’t know so this is only a guess. Maybe 1996 ?

Clerk: No

Me: No, what?

Clerk (looking at her computer): You didn’t buy a trailer in 1996. Does 2006 ring a bell ?

Me: Not really, why ?

Clerk: How many trailers do you own?

Me: One

Clerk : How many trailers have you bought?

Me: One

Clerk: How many trailers have you bought lifetime?

Me: One

Clerk: Well you didn’t buy a trailer in 1996, but you did buy one in 2006

Me: Well then, that’s the one!

Clerk: You said 1996

Me: No, I said I didn’t know and you told me to guess. I guessed 1996.

Clerk: Well, the only trailer I see in your records is a trailer you purchased in 2006.

Me: If I said I’ve only bought one, I only own one, I’ve only ever owned one, let’s assume that’s the one.

Clerk: What color is it ?

Me: Black

Clerk: Ok, I guess that’s the one

I eventually am able to pay for a duplicate registration, but was unable to get a title during this visit.

Are you still with me? Are you willing and / or interested in reading the next interaction?

Today, at the same place I meet with the guy who wants to buy my trailer. We meet so I can sign over the trailer to him.

We sit down with a different clerk. I explain EVERYTHING, and then ask her what we need to do to conclude this transaction.………..

Clerk (to me): You can’t sell the trailer without the title. So you will need to buy a duplicate title. If you pay the basic charge, the title will be mailed to you in 7 - 10 days. Or, you can pay for an expedited title, and you can have it at 8:00 am tomorrow morning.

Me: I can’t sell the trailer without having the paper title in hand ?

Clerk: That’s correct.

Me: So either getting the title in 7 - 10 days or tomorrow, we still have to come back here one more time?

Clerk: Yes, you will need to come back when you have your title.

Me: If I pay to expedite, how on earth could I get it tomorrow by 8 in the morning ?

Clerk: Because that’s when we open

Me: I don’t understand. Where is the expedited title sent? Here?

Clerk: No, it’s not sent here. We can print it for you tomorrow morning when we open.

Me: If you’re going to print it here tomorrow morning, can you just print it now ?

Clerk: No. We are not allowed to do that. We have to wait 24 hours.

Me: That’s not true.

Clerk: What do you mean ?

Me: 8 am tomorrow is less than 18 hours from right now.

Clerk (laughing): Yeah, I guess that’s true.

Me: So can you print it today ?

Clerk: No, I can print it in 24, I mean 18 hours

^^^^^^ That is seriously the short version of what happened, but it is completely accurate.

So, tomorrow morning I’m headed back again, for the third time to hopefully finish this clusterf**k

F**king hell

I didn’t know if
I didn’t know why
and I didn’t know when
I would ever fly again

I now have an answer to all the above questions;

If - Yes

Why - I need to go from Louisiana to Oregon for 1 show

when - looks like today is that day

Update... :

The flight attendant handed me a hand wipe as I boarded
so I looked at her with a very serious expression and said,
"Are you implying that I'm dirty"?

She looked shocked and started to apologize

So I started laughing and told her I was fucking with her.

I don't think she was amused

Just Now : My phone just rang, caller Id showing a number I didn’t recognize.
Typically, if I’m not busy, I will answer the phone even when I know it’s probably a bot, a scam, or someone soliciting me.
Answering the phone……………

Me: Hello

Caller: Hi, is ...this Flip ?

Me: Who are you ?

Caller: Hi Flip, It’s Bob.

Me: Bob, I don’t know you, do I?

Caller: Well, no, but ……….

Me (interrupting Bob): Then why are you talking to me like we’re friends?

Caller: I was just trying to make sure that you’re Flip

Me: What are you selling Bob?

Caller: Um, I noticed your house is for sale.

Me: It is, and Bob, if you have a buyer that is prepared to give me a full cash offer, I will continue to talk to you.

Caller: Um, ah, I noticed your listing was about to expire and I was hoping to see if you’d be interested in changing realtors.

Me: Bob, I’ve already re-listed with my realtor, but don’t hesitate to contact my realtor if you have a buyer. Bu the way, I would recommend you consider introducing yourself at the beginning of future cold calls.

Caller: I was being friendly

Me: You may think so. Have a good night.

Every once in a while I get a call from a realtor, wanting to steal the listing. For the most part, they have all acted in a very similar fashion.
No introduction, not professional, not letting me know up front who they were, what they did for a living, who they worked for, or why they were calling.
Is this the new breed of salespeople ?
I’ve often thought, just because you think you have the right to cold call me, doesn’t mean I am obligated to be your friend

😂 😂 😂

I’m having lunch and a guy with a face tattoo just walked by me. I ALMOST stopped him because I was curious about the back story. Then I realized, HE HAS A FACE TATTOO and decided to let it go.

(stock internet photo - but close to what he had)

I don’t often post youtube links from bands, but I found this video interesting and informative and delightful.

If you are at all interested in inside stories about the evolution of a song, from inception through it’s recording, you may enjoy this video. 10 CC is a British band from ...the 70’s. They had a couple hits (this being one of them). Living in an analog world, bands had to be innovative, creative and to think outside the box to create unique sounds.
If you take the several minutes to watch, I hope you enjoy …………

Image for shared link
The Making of 10cc's "I'm Not in Love"

The Making of 10cc's "I'm Not in Love"

youtu.be

As mentioned recently, I just covered up another ink mistake. This coverup needs a bit more work, but I’m quite entertained by it. Having never had a tattoo before 2014, one way or another, I repeated the same mistake several times between 2014 & 2015.
I’m not looking for sympathy, ...quite the contrary, as a comic my bad decisions have provided plenty of stage and social media material.
My last coverup professed my love for Pistachios, and I would now like to further my love and commitment…………..

1 more down and 5 more to go
MORE THAN HALF DONE
whoop whoop 🙌 🙌

(this is NOT the coverup done Monday. I just wanted to add a pic for this post. I’ll probably include the real pic in the next couple days)

#tattoo #tattoos #tattoocoverup #funny #badchoices ...#badtattoo #comedian #comic #standup #standupcomic #flip #fliporley